Scene 18
Chapter 1
“What am I going to do now?” I asked Austin. We were both sitting in a hot tub we broke into, drinking under the stars on my birthday trying to process what had just taken place.
“I don’t know, but that was some wild shit.”
“Yeeep. That’s my mom.”
“She’s like that all the time, huh? Fucking Christ… and I thought my mother was bad.”
“She does everything she can to make me feel like garbage, and then when I actually stand up to her, that’s when the narrative changes, as you just saw. And then all my sister does is laugh because they are both the same.”
“You should have punched your sister; it sounds like she deserves it. Especially after that one night we were trying to watch the movie.”
We both started laughing, now remembering the time I walked into my room to my sister punching my dogs in the face.
“Haha yeah, I should have. But for whatever reason, my heart wanted to take the high road. So, I tossed her around instead.”
“Haha, oh my god. Yup. I remember.”
“Ugh, I’ve had enough. I need to leave.”
“Well, Victor and I and his wife are all looking for a place.”
“Yeah? You’ve mentioned before, are you saying it’s still an option for me?”
“Oh yeah, always. Especially after that fucked shit back there. I’m sure he’d be happy about it. It would just be tight.”
“I honestly do not give a shit. It’ll cut down on my bills, giving me time to start over.”
Today is my birthday. I just turned 20 and it was getting bad at home. However, growing up was odd and different. She actually made an effort to keep me away from her most of time. But as the years went on, I saw her more for who she was; I started to careless about stepping on eggshells.
My mother was always taking us out of the house onward to experiences. Now I realize it’s because she is dangerous. I bet the more she thought she could distract, the more she thought we wouldn’t notice. But ever since I was 6 years old, I felt the coldness within her. Despite always being out, though, once the doors closed it was a different lifestyle: the throwing things, yelling, slamming doors just to be loud, the hitting, the gaslighting… and my dad even tried to make me apologize to her because it was somehow my fault she threw me against the wall, like a rag doll. That’s a scar that will never go away, I say to myself every time I look down at my left thigh.
Now it was some odd years later, me turning 20 and I definitely have had enough of her. I felt it in my gut the final straw was near.
The days leading up to this moment have not been fun, for any of us. My sister was getting more violent with her words, “You should kill yourself because no one would miss you…. Just disappear so all of our lives would be better,” and my mother was getting more erratically asinine towards my dad, “I guess I’ll stop talking to you for a week so you can be trained into remembering to make sure I have clean socks.” Nothing about this household was happy. My dad and I tried our best, but most of the time, my best, wasn’t good enough; I cannot stand toxic people.
We were all sitting at the dinner table. My mother wanted to make me a “special” dinner, said she would cook anything I asked. Of course, it would never be exactly what I wanted. I would tell her, and she would come up with her own recipe for how she thinks it should go. So, I asked for something simple, vegan fettuccini alfredo. I went ahead and invited my friend Austin over because something was telling me I needed witnesses.
“Fuck it. Let’s do it. Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”
“Yes. Just have to sneak you in because you know how MY mother is.”
I couldn’t sleep a wink for most of the evening. I pondered and planned exactly what I was going to do the next morning. Walk in, start packing…. Do not speak. Walk in, start packing. Over and over in my head the words rang, like I had trouble remembering. It needed to go smoothly. I’m sure she wanted this anyway. It was probably getting close to her screaming it.… I reached over and started to text the man I was dating at the time.
“Hey, it’s time. I am moving out of this awful house. Do you think I could borrow your truck? I’ll pay for it.” His name was Jerry; a good ol’ southern boy from one town over. We were casually dating, nothing serious. My feelings were there but felt closed still. Most likely due to what was going on in my life.
“Of course! Did she finally kick you out for being a piece of shit, LOLZ.”
“Fuck off. LOLZ. I am sure the only reason she hasn’t is because my dad fought for it. But no, today at my birthday dinner she heavily implied with her vulgarity. I am done.”
“Gotcha. I can come Saturday. Kisses.”
Fantastic. Tomorrow I’ll go with Austin apartment hunting with his friend, and then if they end up applying, it’s a go time for staying with them.. for now.
After touring with Austin this morning, he had taken me back to my parents with boxes. We were all under the assumption this apartment was going to work out. So, I had made the decision to go ahead and at least start packing. My dogs were still outside where I left them, and nobody was coming out of their room. There wasn’t much to pack. Most of my stuff from the previous move was still in boxes due to my room being no bigger than a shallow walk-in closet; you could barely walk from the door to the bed. I started to take everything off my desk and was very determined to be completely done before Jerry came with his truck the next morning.
*Phone Rings. *
“Hey Ali.” It was Austin.
“Hey Austin! I thought you had to go into work?”
“I thought I worked as well, but it turns out they over scheduled, so I just volunteered to leave. Need some assistance?”
“Hell yeah! Come on over. No one is out and about, thank god.”
“I’ll be right there!”
We both had managed to clear my room enough to start taking apart my desk.
“Why the fuck is your desk so big?”
“I didn’t have the resources to get a new one.”
“Haha, heard. So, let’s get this apart and we’ll set it outside. Victor texted me; we got approved for the apartment! As of now we can start moving stuff over.”
“Fantastic! And also, Jerry is coming tomorrow to help. So, the more we can get done today, the better it’ll go then.”
“He is driving all the way from Sierra Vista?”
“Yeah. Was that a big ask? Haha.”
“Haha, idk. I just thought you guys were dating.”
“We are. He could have said no but he didn’t.”
“Are you going to go back with him?”
“No. I am not that rude; I won’t leave my stuff with you and take off.” We both chuckled.
“Not what I was getting at but heard.”
I grabbed one of the vacant boxes and made my way to the kitchen. Despite not having my own space, I curated a lot of personal items; mugs and cups were some of those things. Then, out of nowhere, I hear my parent’s door shut. My adrenaline started to go a little faster, wondering who was about to make an appearance…. It was my dad. I did not say a word, nor did I look directly at him. He knew what I was doing and for the most part, let it be. But this time he came to speak something very simple. Words I never expected but did at the same time knowing who my mother is.
“I am glad to see you go. You are the only one acting crazy and if you can’t learn to be normal, you have no business being here.” I said nothing.
We went all the way into nightfall. The desk was the last thing on the list, and unfortunately, Goodwill closes after 6pm for donations.
“Let’s just do it anyway. I am tired of this.” I spoke, completely feeling the heat even though it was 8pm.
“Yeah, honestly fuck it. Let’s do it.”
We dragged the desk into the small ass car, piece by piece, and drove to Goodwill around the corner. We set it up properly against the building pillars, and to our relief, we weren’t the only ones being assholes.
“I think that’s it. I just worry for my dogs.”
“You think they would stoop that low?” Austin asked.
“Oh, fuck yeah. by my mother is too much of a pathetic coward, she would most likely make my dad do it.”
And I was right.
The next day while Jerry, Austin and I were piling boxes into the back of the vehicle, my dad said, “If you don’t take your dogs within the next couple days, I am taking them to the pound.” All I could muster was a laugh and snarky remark myself about him being a pathetic follower. I already knew this was the final straw, so whatever I could say wouldn’t phase anyone.
